So, I just had two movements in the last hour. The first one was that smooth kind where you hardly need to wipe, and it was pretty big. I felt empty, like, OH I COULDN'T POSSIBLY MAKE ANOTHER. Then about 10 minutes later, I had the overwhelming dhiarini. So I ran back to the bathroom and let the hot acid foam out my ass. That time, I really needed to wipe.
That was my life last night, after my boyfriend left. Kinda sucked, but the fact that he was just here felt so good. Every time we have a stretch of days without seeing each other is hard. But when it's close to an entire month without seeing him, it's impossible. I start to forget how strongly I feel. But then the first day he comes back, it all comes rushing back to me.
In my stupidity, I had posted in a drink/fight/smoke/fuck thread, saying I only intended to smoke. I don't know why I did... Sheer boredom, lack of friends in the area, wanting to smoke. But he saw my posts, just my luck. I'm glad he did though. He mentioned seeing that thread rather subtly, only alluding to having seen my posts. I chose not to ask him about it first. Then, the first day he came back out here, he told me he saw. He told me he just wanted me to hold off on being stupid until after I get my financial aid for school. Told me I was retarded, gave me a kiss and changed the subject like nothing happened.
This is why I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm such a douche bag sometimes, but he loves me anyways. I'm no good for him.
Anyways, found out that I need to send the community college more shit before I can find out exactly how much financial aid I'll be getting. I just wanna start my classes already. I'm so stoked for Japanese 101. I think I'm going to take Sociology and Freshman Comp. too.
Oh, I think I feel another shit coming, better go.