Wednesday, May 25, 2011


New content is looooong overdue here, so I'm gonna let you know what's been going on. Since my last post I have started classes at the local community college, finished those classes, figured out what I'm going to do with my life, and decided on the schools I'll need to attend to reach that goal. I've decided to become a cosmetologist, nurse esthetician, laser technician, and whatever else falls into that. Going to two different schools. Hoping for the South West Institute for Natural Aesthetics, and the Carsten Aveda institute. SWINA offers natural and clinical aesthetic curriculum, as well as laser tech courses, and massage shit. So I'll learn every trick of the trade. I'll have like 12 back up options. >> Going to do Carsten Aveda first, as they guarantee job placement, and I'll need to pay off the federal loan I'll probably have to get to afford the courses. Until I start at Carsten, I need to find a job. But since I have ugly purple faded hair, I needed dye. Dilemma for one without a job, and thusly no money. But I did some work on mturk and got enough amazon gift card cash to get some dye shipped to me. So I'm awaiting the delivery of the dye and preparing myself for the upcoming rabid hunt for a job. At the same time, I feel a lot of tension in the house, as my mom is upset I don't already have a job. Dunno what she expects me to do right this minute, but I'm apparently not doing it. I've been keeping the house clean, even my own room, and doing every little chore I can find, but she still gets pissed about every little thing. She pulled a bunch of her old nasty leftovers out of the fridge and left them on the counter for a day, got pissed when I didn't scrape out the moldy content and throw it out, decided it'd be a good idea to put it all in the freezer instead of get rid of HER trash HERSELF. Apparently I am responsible for her mess as well as my own. I threw her shit out without complaint after her tantrum, and even offered to make her brownies afterward. Today she seems pissy again. I heard her muttering something about me as she was leaving at 8pm. Where does she go? She's sure as hell not getting groceries, I've been drinking tea instead of eating for days now. (It was part of our agreement that while I am going to school to prepare myself that she would provide shelter and sustenance.) And she's not working, as A. it's too fucking late, and B. there IS no work to be done. I might add to this that we live off of her checks from the government, and it barely covers rent and utilities. She hasn't bothered to find new work, since her job has run dry and fired everyone, yet I'm open to criticism on the same subject. She talks of finding a job, but never takes the steps to follow through. However, I am continuously hounded and degraded for not having something, though It has been only a month tops since I have finished school, I obviously am not in hireable condition (which she could help to fix for the price of a $5 bottle of hair dye), and I can't fucking get to sleep at night, effectively putting a stop to any dreams of being awake during the day. I could complain for hours about my relationship with my mother. On the other hand, things with Chris are great. There was an incident involving another girl (who turned out to be a stalker that has been fucking with him and his family for four years now, and is underage none the less) who lives in Alaska, claiming to also be dating him. She also referred me to another girl, whom he was "facebook official" with, at a time when I wasn't aware he had a facebook. That was actually pretty fucked, but after his explanation, I was willing to forgive it. This girl also lived in Florida, so it's not a big deal to me. That took some time to get over, but I feel confident now that this has been resolved. Hmm, what else? I got in touch with my dad on Christmas. I only had one phone number for him, and it was his mother's, which is where he was living when he first moved back to Oregon, over 4 years ago. Since then he had moved out, met a woman, and decided to marry her. I had no idea if the number I had would yield helpful, but I called anyway, just happened that it was Christmas, and he had been visiting for the first time in months. I told him I was sorry for breaking up his and my mother's marriage, to which he seemed flabberghasted, at the thought of me feeling responsible for that. He alleviated much of the guilt I felt for the event, and I told him I loved him, and that he had a huge, great influence on me, and I wanted to keep him in my life, as well as my sister and brother, Micah and Leah, whom I still haven't heard from. He said Leah seemed excited to talk to me, and she has a 1 year old son and husband. He said he gave her my email and phone number, but I haven't heard from her. My dad's getting re-married in August, and I haven't heard from him since... March at the latest. HE told me to save the date, as he wanted me there, but I dunno what's going on with that. There's no way I could get a plane ticket, and if I did go, I'd want to bring Chris, so he could meet him. I told my dad this is who I'm going to marry, and showed him a picture. He was happy for me. I haven't sent an email to him in a while though, been too distracted. It's a mutual kind of "we're busy, we'll talk when we talk" thing, I hope.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Best manga ever. High school student Kei Kurono meets up with childhood friend Kato Masaru one day by chance encounter. As the two are in the subway chatting, Kato notices a homeless man on the subway train tracks. Kato goes down on to the tracks to move the man off the tracks and persuades Kei to help. But soon after helping the man, they are hit by a subway train and killed... or maybe not. Immediately after being hit by the train, the two are suddenly in an apartment from which they can't leave, along with some other people who were also in some near death experience. In this apartment there is also a black sphere called Gantz. Kei and the others have to obey Gantz's rules if they want to live. They have to participate in missions in which the objective is to eliminate aliens.
Fucking read it if you haven't already. I'm addicted... I dream in Gantz now. I want it to be real. I'm reading feverishly.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Sims 3

I can't get an install that works. I'm retarded, so I don't know how to mount anything with Daemon tools lite, or magiciso. Regardless, I don't think the torrent worked. The filetype is "bitlord incomplete download file." And I'm just uninspired lately, I can't write, I can't draw... If I sing, it just sounds hollow. So I'm reading Vampire Hunter D and detaching from the world, trying to find inspiration within myself, or within the pages of this book... I'm ultra tired lately, too. But I baked a cake, and I've been cooking besides, just keeping busy.
I want to start school now. I still have to bring my tax info to the school, and fill out some worksheet... Then I can choose the rest of my classes. Well, I could choose them now, but I can't remember my log in info, and the only place it's written down is in my phone... Which was fucking stupid, because my phone stopped working. Every time I turn it on, it just has a white screen. Uuuuugh.
I feel like just going to sleep until January.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Teach me how to Money

Eh, haven't been posting lately. I've just been suuuper tiiiired. Sleeping a lot, spending time with my boyfriend. Pretending to be a guy.
...Yeah. I'll talk more on that later, possibly. Right now, I'm anxious about getting new clothes. Since I moved, I have only found my favorite shit... And I need $30 per pair of new pants, which is really all I want for now. Planning on picking up some shirts for every show I go to this next years. Oh my fucking god, Luna Sea is going to be in Southern California this December. I'll fucking kill my own mother if I miss it. The chance to see Sugizo live? Fucking no. Not missing that. I'll sell my nubile little body if I have to. -_-
So... more mindless musings... Oh, this is a great shop for clothes, and they have some really unique stuff!
Literally the highest converse-style boots in the world. I have a pair. Yeah. They're comfy, they fit nicely, and they're fucking awesome.
So there's that... That's where I'm gonna get my pants too. Dem shiny leggings. One for every color. Yeah. Been saying that for about a year, but I have no banking card, so buying shit online is impossible. And since I'm not making really any money, I can't help that.
I wanna go out and get a job right now, but I wanna wait until after I start school, just to be sure I can handle school and work.
Any ideas on what place would hire a cute girl with blue and purple hair and facial piercings?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Pure Stupidity (And Halloweenies)

Again, PLEASE CLICK THIS!!! I wanna at least stay in top 15, but if you help me get to first or second, I'll give out a prize!

I stayed up for 24 hours starting the day before yesterday, so I ended up being awake really early today. I'm planning on making a cake or some cupcakes today, and my boyfriend is coming back out!! :D
I'm so happy now. Gonna get to watch the premier of the Walking Dead tv show together. :3
People fucking piss me off though. If you're all keeping something a secret, and you make a reference to something sort of similar to that secret, people should be smart enough to not say something about the actual fucking secret, and think about what you're ACTUALLY SAYING, instead of automatically assuming you're referring to this secret. Some people don't deserve the truth. >.>

Also, I've been writing some fiction here and there in the last 48 hours... I wrote an intro for something that I find rather enticing. It seems rather amateur though... Posting anyway. :P

The musings of an alleged madman went unheard as he lectured the corridor of the ramshackle apartment. His expression was calm, his voice monotone. Smoke drifted in plumes out of the corner of his lips as he spoke, "He's a fucking phoney, he smiles to the public, shakes hands with the drug dealers and gang kingpins, all he cares about is lining his fucking pockets." This man knew the truth of politics, he had seen the same story played out in several countries. This particular politician, though, was voted into office after exposing his opponent of having dealt with organized crime in an unfit manner. This man, the governor, deserved to be taught a lesson. "The public fucking loves him. He needs to know that we aren't all fucking sheep." He directed his speech to the image of his target on the television,"I know your secret, fucking political whore. I know what you've done to get that fancy fucking mansion. I'll take the one thing that you must truly still feel human toward." As he watched, the camera panned to the governor's daughter, merely egging him on, "I'll make him come clean to the public in order to save his daughter..."

So, there you have it... If you have any suggestions or editing notes, let me know.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hey, I need you to Click This

It's of the utmost importance. -_-

Also, I know I update pretty often, but I'm always this way when I first start something. I'm sooo tired. Went back to sleep finally after posting that dream-related bit. I'm bored, figured I'd update... Cause... Why not?
So, I'm trying to think about college, and our escape to Japan. If I get a two-year degree in something, will it impede upon my ability to continue for two years to get my Bachelor's? I still don't even know what I want to major in, what I wanna do for the rest of my life. But I'm so fucking excited for Jap 101... And I want to get that two-year degree so I can go teach in Japan... How fucking weeaboo of me, right? I could give a fuck, really. I want to do what I like.

So what do you guys recommend? Any two-year degrees you know of that are fun and at least kinda practical? I'm not going to do a degree in basket-weaving, so don't bother suggesting it.
Give me your opinions, dammit.